Wives Meeting
Here is what I shared at the wives meeting and is a good reminder of what God has been teaching me this year.
Not my plan but his alone….
Here is a video about our mission.
I mentioned to Ben
shortly after we moved here last summer I thought I was going through a midlife
crisis, he calmly reassured me that I could not be going through a midlife
crisis unless I only planned to live to the age of 64. We both laughed and now
as I look back through this past year I realize I was not going through a midlife
crisis but God was working on my life personally and spiritually.
After we moved here I began to question God’s call on my
life. Ever since I was little girl I dreamed of being an overseas missionaries.
In my mind the only “true” missionaries lived in faraway lands fighting off
malaria and living in a straw hut. So
when I found myself living in a large city with a coffee shop on every corner I
began to wonder how this could be considered a mission field. To be on the mission field didn’t I need to
at least leave my house once a day? To compact my discouragement Ben began to
come home from frequent overseas flights telling me about the different
countries he saw and the people he helped.
Now in my mind, Ben was living out my dream of being a true missionary
while I stayed at home with the kids, hardly something to write home about it.
But as the year began to unfold and I found myself beginning to homeschool my
children my discouragement began to compound. I was frequently telling God, do
you know what you are doing? This was not exactly how I pictured my life ,
definitely not having my kids not even
leave the house to go to school. But thankfully God allowed me to be stubborn and
sad because through circumstances he knew my heart would change. It wasn’t till a few months ago when I began
to read a book called, Mission Motherhood my heart began to change .
In the book Sally Clarkson says, “God designed motherhood to
be a deeply meaningful role. We mothers have the opportunity to influence
eternity by building a spiritual legacy in the lives of our children. Through
our teaching and influence, morality can be learned and modeled, love and
kindness are taught and received, purpose
and vision are ignited and passed on. The real ability of a mother to secure
such a spiritual legacy is based on the strength of her relationship with her
child. As we tenderly care for our children, meeting their needs, teaching them
and guiding them, praying for them and modeling our faith, we are also
anchoring our hearts to our home and our values and our beliefs.” So it was after I started reading this book
it was the first time I realized that as I met their heartfelt needs I was doing a great work for the Lord. So
instead of trying to figure out what God was calling me to do I began to
embrace what he had given me and view it as my mission field. I have also come
to realize that important as my role is as a mother , and as important as my
children are , my main focus is not on being a mother alone. I also need to spend time enjoying a godly
marriage, and supporting my husband as well as spending time finding myself- to
become the person he had for me all along. When I began to focus on figuring out
God‘s plan for my life not mine alone it was then that true happiness began. I
began to wake up in the morning saying, “okay God today is yours and not mine.” Although , after three days in a row of
watching other peoples kids I thought I might have a better plan. But those
verses, “for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper
and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a future,” began to come to my
mind. So through trusting God he has brought me through a whirlwind of a year, it is hard to believe that I survived
homeschooling two kindergartners caring for a toddler and have watched as God has
given me countless opportunities to practice hospitality . I realize now I am right where God wanted and wants me
to be .
One of my favorite songs is by Steven Curtis Chapman called
one little heartbeat and does a good job of relaying what I have learned this
year.
Here are some verses that I have spent time memorizing and
mean a lot to me, “Therefore do not
throw away your confidence , which has a great reward . For you have need of
endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was
promised. “Hebrews 10:35-36
So as I have confidence that God has called me to be a missionary,
mother, and a wife . I look forward to the day that I will hear God say , “well
done my good and faithful servant. “
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